A lesson in Forgiveness

What if all this stress and hatred I feel @ work is God’s way of teaching me to forgive. Not just saying that I forgive people, but truly forgive and move on? I mean, really, people have said a lot of things about me with hopes to make me feel less of a person because they feel bad about themselves. I just take it all in.
I found out today a lot of the things that had been said behind my back throughout my stay here. And you know what? It really doesn’t matter anymore. I truly believe that I am here for a reason. I believe that I add value to any job that I do. I believe that somethings, I bring on. But there are a lot of things that others see in me that makes them nervous and want to bring me down. Just to prove how much better they are. I was serious when I said that 2010 was my year to get back to me. To focus on my God, my family, my fitness and to leave the GOOPS behind.

I am totally aware of people not really liking me, but pretending. Well… really…I’m pretending too.

I am totally happy with the way things are going. I know a miracle when I see one. People who don’t know God’s love – question God’s miracles. They can’t see it. I am living in a miracle. No matter what is said, no matter what is done, I have seen God move in my life. Everything that others is saying and doing serve only to distract me from basking in what God has blessed me with. It distracts me from acknowledging God, praising His goodness, and knowing -without a shadow of doubt- that He has touched my life. The reason why others don’t like me and want to smear my name and treat me like an outsider is because they see something in me that they wish was in them……
it is my deep love and concern for people.
It is the way that I do my job– any job.
It is the way that I smile with my whole heart.
It is the way that I can live in a small, tiny, messy house that is filled to the brim with love. Really…they want the God in me.

Here’s a novelty…. God’s Love is all around you. Open your heart. It’s no secret. He has his Hands on your heart too. He just wants you to want Him. There are miracles in your life. Realize it before it’s too late.

I had hit rock bottom before I could see that God was with me.
The stress @ work is not worth me taking my eyes off of God.

I may be on your stage….but I’m dancing to my own tunes….. you are getting frustrated because the strings that you are pulling — keeps getting tangled.

It really has nothing to do with me. Love me… hate me…. I don’t really care. I will always be just me.

The anger is gone.
the hatred is gone.
I forgive the bulls–t that has gone on.

love me…hate me… I really don’t care.
But realize…play with me…I play with you.

I’m not going to stop loving
I’m not going to stop running.
I’m determined to live stress-free.


New Rotation:

M: Full-body Circuits (2×20 PU; 2×20 SU)
T: HiiT; Yoga
W: Full-body Circuits (2×20 PU; 2×20 SU)
T: HiiT; Yoga
F: Full-body Circuits (2×20 PU; 2×20 SU)
S: Long Run
S: Active Rest

Today was a wonderful day…. started with Chewie breaking free and me stressing trying to find him before something not so nice happened. Well….Chewie is safely back home after running free for about 1 hour. Shadow barked for approx. 1 hour straight. He would be lost without his buddy.
Watched the move “Why did I get Married?” It was really nice. One of the husbands in that movie was so mean. It was almost unrealistic. Could someone be that mean to their spouse? Not sure.
Finished up with a two mile outside run with Shadow and Anna… there we were, running with a baby jogger and a dog in tow. Funny sight to see.
Today I got pretty upset over something that was not work related. Funny but it was like having a break through. I may just be back to my normal self…..fussing @ hubby for nothing in particular. 🙂
House is semi-clean
Baby is semi-clean
Teen is always noisy,
but things are good.

Keep running,
Keep loving,
Keep living stress-free

Go back to what you know

When it’s hard to forgive,
When it’s hard to forget.
when time goes by
And your only regret
Is to focus on the bad things that others have done.
While some may think that manipulation is fun
It’s an art to get others to see what you see
But it’s a joke to think that “others” is me
people know your concern is for show….
Me… I’ll go back to what I know:

Look into the eyes of those that you love
And what do you suppose you’ll see?
Is love reflected back to you?
Is what you see really true?
Your manipulations may have caught up with you.
It’s an art to get others to play a part on your stage- but while you’re pulling those strings, your life is in disarray.
The love you thought you’d see— is really fear
Your touches no longer bring desire
It’s hard to manipulate that fire……