So…..I’ve been reading a lot lately. In the last 2 months, I’ve probably read 4 books!! Reading and running…the cure to any ailments!!!! 
Next on the book list—-my man Dean Koontz.

It is good to pick up an old friend yet again. The last Koontz I read was the husband. It wasn’t his best, but that won’t stop me from giving him another go at it.


“The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity. ” Zig Ziglar

****Ohhhh……Lovely Day*****

Living in Paradise is wonderful!  I don’t know if it is because of the new surroundings or if it is because of a change of attitude, but I have been happy since arriving in this beautiful place.  I still have some of the same annoyances has my last assignment, however, this time I refuse to let any other person define me.  I don’t let others dictate how I feel about myself, my job, my surroundings.  I don’t respond emotionally. I just take note and alter my plan of attack (if that is what I want to do). Most times, I just don’t care enough to put any energy into in.  I go about my happiness.

It’s really funny to continually see how others try to manipulate new relationships.  It speaks loudly to the fact that if you try to influence how others interacts with someone they have just met – You still have issues. It’s like telling a common acquaintance every bad thing you perceive about someone in order to influence that acquaintance to live out your vengeance on a person. That is manipulation. That is evil. That is useless….. if the person doesn’t care to form new relationships.

Walking in Truth means sitting down with the new acquaintance and laying it all on the table.  Telling them that you know what’s up and that it is an evil script, played out by evil people.  The new acquaintance is just falling into a game that will cause their own heart to turn black.  And it is easy to see a black heart and stay away from that influence.

What’s funny…. to be hated for being a know-it-all….and have the same people who are filled with that hate….pattern their lives after yours. Copy everything they claim to hate about you in order to make their lives better.

You dress like a boy… you meet someone who dresses it up and looks good when dressed…who wears heels and carries them self NOT like a boy, and you copy. You abandon your “jeans and tee-shirt” lifestyle and be more like the hated object. Then tell everyone…. oh…it’s not because of her…It’s because I’ve decided to dress differently, and practicing walking in heels because I wanted to. OK

“It’s funny you should say that….. I would have thought that you would think differently….. Nobody knows Everything…..What you’re saying is interesting, however…..”
“she’s such a know-it-all.. let’s make her realize what she doesn’t know.”

Yes, it was hell….But…. I’d been to Hell before..  That ain’t Nothing….

It was totally unbelievable that a group of people who were screwing around with each other could possible judge me a know-it-all—–then come to me because I knew it. Then tell others how crazy I was….when they in fact THEY were taking pyschotic drugs— commenting on my skin and teeth when THEY had a head full of ringworm…..

Yes, it was hell…..But…. I’d been to Hell before….   That ain’t Nothing…..

It’s funny that once you can’t get a rise of emotion from someone who was once so easily manipulated— nothing that is done from afar (and from someone trying to get close), can affect the not so now manipulated one.

I say….JK your own love….
you should…….live your own life.
tell your own boring story… so others can fall into a trance…
and suggest that they lay down the evil script.

Because I’m not listening anymore…
I stopped listening to the suggestions the moment I heard them …
and stopped pretending I didn’t know about it.. May 2011.
then the shadows went away.

The sun came out….
…and Ohhhhhhh………….
what a lovely day.


Sighing a breath of relief
Thanking God for the chance to be free.
Looking back with a joyful heart,
knowing that evil didn’t overshadow my thoughts.
It’s like joy bubbling
within my soul
It’s like loving myself
and holding my own.
The joy that I have
the freedom to smile
I’m thanking the Lord
no longer asking “why?”
Going through what I had
has made all the difference.
I’m stronger inside and I count all my blessings.
I had to go through what I did
in order to grow.
Now I know.
I thank God for the protection he gave to my heart.
I thank God for the blessings
that I had almost lost
trying to please others who refuse to let go…..
I look all around and it’s freedom I see.

The freedom to be… ME.

No guilt…


Atlas Shrugged Reviewed:

“Contradictions do not exist.  Whenever you think you are are facing a contradiction, check your premises.   You will find that one of them is wrong.”  Ayn Rand

Ayn Rand was an atheist and saw no value in religion.

“Since everything man needs has to be discovered by his own mind and produced by his own effort, the two essentials of the method of survival proper to rational beings are:  thinking and productive work.” Value of Selfishness
Her Premise is that man has only his mind and his ability to be productive and successful….
wrong premise…

“But that is the time to be careful! Beware that in your plenty you do not forget the Lord  your God and disobey his commands, regulations, and decrees that I am giving you today. 12For when you have become full and prosperous and have built fine homes to live in, 13and when your flocks and herds have become very large and your silver and gold have multiplied along with everything else, be careful! 14Do not become proud at that time and forget the Lord your God, who rescued you from slavery in the land of Egypt. 15Do not forget that he led you through the great and terrifying wilderness with its poisonous snakes and scorpions, where it was so hot and dry. He gave you water from the rock! 16He fed you with manna in the wilderness, a food unknown to your ancestors. He did this to humble you and test you for your own good. 17He did all this so you would never say to yourself, ‘I have achieved this wealth with my own strength and energy.’ 18Remember the Lord  your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful, in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath.

It is God who gives us the ability/power to be successful!!  Don’t forget God. Ayn Rand’s life was a series of contradictions because she held an incorrect premise.

“I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.”  Ayn Rand

This was the motivational cry of John Galt…. Why he formed his own little glitch with all of the “intellects”. Seeing that the government was sucking them dry of their productivity and penalizing them for their ability.  John wanted to give the government exactly what it wanted, a world with just “yes” men and no “thinkers”. John believed that his work and his success was his alone and that he should not have to be forced to help others who were less “intellectual” than he.  For all has the same ability to think and produce.

Wrong premise:
While we all have the same opportunities, we do not all have the same abilities.   We are called to serve and by serving we form a united whole.
Now, just because I “sound” like a looter in the story…..I’m far from it in reality.  I believe that everyone that has the ability to work….should work!!  I don’t believe that the government or that any man should have to take care of able bodied people.
I differ in that —- not all is able….
It is those that the more Blessed should assist. Yes that is a moral premise. One should not base a moral premise on what feels good at the moment. Human hearts and minds are fickle and what feels good now, may not feel good tomorrow.

Atlas Shrugged did not make me want to run away from God…. It made me run closer to God. There is true evil in the world.  This book shows a lot of techniques as to how to bring about that evil…….
But the highest evil is turning from God and declaring that Man does not need God… that we, Man, have done it on our own and that God needs US.

Don’t live life as a contradiction:  Check your premise.  God Wins.