Our Inner Conflicts

So… every once in a while a book comes into my life that helps me to turn on the light.  This book has done just that!  It’s been said many times that your subconscious controls your daily life. Your pattens of thoughts, your behaviors, your reactions to others are rooted in what is held in your subconscious.

Neurosis’ are created very early on in life. The little child who feels alone in the world and may not understand the moods and issues of those appointed over them, may start to internalize the fears that are created by not feeling secure and/or loved. You may not even be aware of some of the neurosis that are present in your life! It’s a “blind side”!  But you better believe that others who know you and watch your behaviors, see those inner conflicts that you may not be aware of! There are some people who are very good at creating neurosis in you if you are not aware!

How can one see your inner conflicts? By looking at your contradictions in life. They find your weak spot, then play on it. and try to make you hate yourself. They stand back and watch!! Anything can create a neurosis in someone who is prone to a particular issue.

Example:  You have so fitness minded yet you don’t work out!  There is an inner conflict.  You know you should work out- but you don’t.  So an evil person (a dark heart), will see that conflict and play on it.  They will distract you from working out or sabotage your current workouts so that you don’t see progress.  Your inner conflict will get bigger, and you will start to hate yourself for not doing what you know you should be doing.

Some people are very good bringing out inner conflicts in others!!

But the Bible tells another story!!!!!

It tells us to guard our hearts because from it springs issues of life. Those issues (inner conflicts) comes from all around us!!  T.V, news, music, books, movies, and evil people who plays on others insecurities. How does music bring out neurosis??  Say you never felt loved as a child, and you hear sad songs…… They say so much…..  It connects to the neurosis of not feeling loved as a child and makes you act as you are not loved. Sad songs keeps bringing the inner conflict up.  If you haven’t dealt with it, you are never free from it.

Another example:  You felt abandoned as a child and lonely.  Evil people will exclude you from the group in order to make you feel abandon yet again, because the evil people has seen what you can’t see…. that inner conflict… once you feel abandon again, you act in such a way to gain acceptance from the group.

But Glory be to God, because the Bible tells us that once we are in Christ Jesus, we ARE new!!! Old things have passed away…. Let go of the old inner conflicts and embrace the new man the neurosis is the OLD MAN—-that old man was controlled by the world… what he/she heard and saw and understood about themselves prior to coming to the knowledge of Christ Jesus.  The NEW MAN is your soul not being held down by the neurosis created by others within you.  The HOLY SPIRIT within you, frees you from the weight of the world!!  From the weight of the inner conflicts!!!!

Paul talked about it!!   The things that he wanted to do, he didn’t do… he did the things that he hated to do!!!  He is describing the old man in him….. but thanks be to God, he was changed!!!

The Gospel of Thomas tells us not to do what we hate, because heaven is watching us…. when we do what we hate, we create neurosis!!!  That negative, aggressive, critical voice inside your head that tells you that you are not good, that you can’t amount to anything, that you are not loved– is  a neurosis that Jesus said—– “come out of him!!!”  Jesus freed many who were sick!  Thanks be to God.  I am Free!!!!   I am Free!!!

Neurosis

Cardio Report

The latest on the cardio front.  So, down 7 lbs. So 7 lbs in a little over a month. Not bad….actually….really good!!!  I’m so happy that I am seeing results so quickly.  Running has always slimmed my thighs. It’s my go-to exercise when I want to get into shape quickly.  I’ve noticed that I took more rest days this time around.  I’m not sure which method I like better– running daily, or running harder and resting a day or two in between.  Both ways work for me so I won’t stress it too much.

Now…I’ve discovered that MMA has helped my mood by leaps and bounds!!  It’s really fun to put the boxing gloves on and aim at the heavy bag!! Hubby knew exactly what he was doing when he brought that item home for me!! I have never felt better!  Happiness has returned. Just by living my SkyyLife!!


1-14-13:  3.2 miles, 45:34 min, 456 calories

1-15-13:  3.5 miles, 42:48 min, 482 miles

1-17-13: 4 miles, 51:14 min, 568 calories;2.3 miles, 30 min, 326 calories; 16 min EFX, 120 calories

1-19-13: 4.1 miles, 50:19 min, 554 calories; 30 min EFX, 205 calories

1-21-13: 4.1 miles, 53:37 min, 531 calories

1-23-13: 2.5 miles, 30:24 min, 342 calories; 30 min EFX 290 calories

1-27-13: 2.3 miles, 30 min, 326 calories

1-28-13: 2.6 miles, 34 min, 342 calories

1-29-13: 2.3 miles, 31:45 min, 310 calories; 20 min EFX, 145 calories


IMG_0199

Project Skyyway…..





IMG_2697IMG_2691  IMG_2695Another Anna project completed this week.  Since she was not really excited about the blue button down dress, I made this white and pink top with hearts.  She was more receptive when she saw it.

I used New Look 6961 in size 8.  It was an easy pattern to follow.  The neck hole was slightly snug, so next go around, I will cut it a little wider.

the next  item that i have to complete is the matching pants.

All-in-all, I really liked this pattern, and I plan to make it again.

Sewcation

Today I did a redesign for Anna… Problem is, she really doesn’t like to wear blue!!!  It was good practice.

sewing pics 157 sewing pics 158 sewing pics 159 sewing pics 160 sewing pics 161 sewing pics 162

She requested something pink with flowers!!! This is going to be fun!!

It was hard getting back into it.  I hadn’t pulled the sewing machine out in over 2 years, so things moved slowly at first.  I had to re-teach myself how to thread the serger.  I almost gave up twice, before I calmed down and followed the instructions. I believe that the hardest part of this is to size the pattern before cutting out the material. Once you make that cut, it is hard to go back.

So.. how do I feel bringing out the machine?  It felt wonderful! I have Project Runway playing in the background and patterns all over the room, but I’m comfortable. I’m back in my element.  When I sew, I think of my grandmother who tried to teach me at 15. But you know 15-year olds, that was for older people.  Yea Right.  I should have listened to my Granny…. Today was a good day. I feel great!

sewing pics 146

Popping Tags

Good Day for a trip to the local thrift store…. This time, hubby was with me.

IMG_2572 IMG_2577 IMG_2578 IMG_2579 IMG_2580

It seems that it is really popular for people to “pull tags” now a days. The thrift store has always pulled me since I was single with two kids to raise. Now when my grown son visits, he asks to go to the thrift store. Love the treasures that I bring home!

Uniquely…. Unique

Well……

Vacations are always a wonderful way to get grounded and reevaluate all of the going ons..  There is nothing better than waking up, working out, shopping, reading, relaxing, cooking, sewing and working out a 2nd time for the day. I really needed to get away from the office!!  Really… the daily runs have really helped me to center.  During those runs, I have been able to reflect on living, laughing, and loving.

Living means to be.  Be who you are.  Like who you are. Do what you do. and be at peace.

When you find that you are not at peace, it is aways good to look around and see what is going on.  Who is it that is irritating you?  And realize that what is irritating you  needs to be dealt with. I’ve realized that it is easy to forget certain people. Just walk away.  I will never be able to save someone, I have to be able to save myself. Saving myself means to listen to my inner voice. Many times I just don’t listen, and I find myself in the same place year after year.  That place is not necessarily bad– doing good deeds and uplifting others should never be bad.  It only gets bad when you neglect yourself for the sake of someone else.

There are some people out there, whose sole purpose is to disrupt your life.  Do anything to distract you. To throw you off your game. And these people get a high by doing it. Plant a seed of doubt. Start a rumor. Make you feel “no good”.  There are some people who take pleasure in harassing others.  Back in the day….we called them “two-faced”.  The face that they show you, then the face that they show to others— laughing at you. There are people who tell the world that you’ve done them wrong….. yet refused to tell the world what THEY have done to you. They play the victim when in reality they are the bully. They say… “Don’t judge me..” and “..you’re wrong for judging me” but don’t tell you that  they were asked time and time again, to stop telling their business….. Because you don’t agree with what they are doing. They say…. “oh… she’s crazy… Hot and cold” but they don’t tell you the things that were done to create the hot and to create the cold.

Running… has made me realize that LET CRAZY… BE CRAZY…..and realize that the reason why people try to control me, is because If I think to highly of myself… and succeed.  I’ve proven myself. and can’t be affected by their manipulations.  But if they can make me doubt my abilities and my sanity, then they have me right where they want me —Dancing to their tunes.

God is so good. God is so good.  Skyy has her own issues….but Skyy is living her SkyyLife.  And deep, deep, deep down inside…. I know that I’m OK. Nothing anyone can do, or say to me will make me think otherwise. Because God is so good. And He has been with me for so long. Through the fire, through the rain, through the sunny days, through the rainy days.  God is so Good!!

Photo on 1-18-13 at 11.29 AM

New Projects


IMG_2563 IMG_2562 IMG_2561 IMG_2560



New projects to do during my mini-vacation…

Sewing:  I’ve selected two easy projects that shouldn’t take longer than 5 hours to complete. Hardest part may be to cut out and fit to my size.

Reading:  Alex Cross has always been an easy read… let’s see what he’s up to in CROSS

Fitness:  NROL 5.0 is supercharged!!!  Just reading it right now as I focus more on cardio. Can’t hurt to squat every now and then!!!

Love living Stress-free!!!

Cardio report:

Cardio report for the last few days….  after the workout, I do some type of strength training or upper body work doing MMA boxing with a heavy bag.  This has greatly improved my mood and taken off any daily stress that I may have.

I’m starting to see some results:  although I still have a gut… it’s getting smaller. Cardio always makes me sleep better and eat less in the evening.  My goal was to run 3 miles at least 3 times a week, and I think that I’ve met that goal.  Now time to ramp it up to 4 miles at least 3 times a week.

I have Cathe’s new workout series but I don’t really want to start the strength training portion until I burn the fat off.  Then I will start toning up.  I know that you can do both, but the results may be slower and my goal is to burn the fat then feed the muscle.

 

1-1-13:  4 miles 56:42  565 calories

1-2-13: 2 miles 30:01 min 264 calories; 1.4 miles 20:09 min 195 calories; 25 min elliptical trainer 221 calories; .9 miles

1-3-13: 2.04 miles; 30.16 min 276 calories; 3.5 miles 51..:48 min 443 calories

1-4-13: 1.2 miles 16:11 min 154 calories; 20 min elliptical trainer 182 calories

1-5-13: 6.2 miles 765 calories 100 min

1-7-13: 3.4 miles 45 min 482 calories

1-8-13: 3.4 miles 45:08 min 484 calories

1-9-13: 4.5 miles 60 min 641 calories

1-11-13: 4.3 miles 55 min 619 calories; 2.5 miles 35 min 331 calories; 20 min elliptical trainer 160 calories

Sewing:  So, since I’m on vacation for a minute, I will have time to pull down the sewing machine and stitch something up!!  First time in over 2 years… OH WATCH OUT NOW!!!

Photo on 12-16-12 at 7.29 PM

Helpful Things

Three good books that will help you love yourself.

When I was learning to love myself…. these books made a difference!

Before reading Staying OK, you really should check out I’m  OK – You’re OK.  This is the foundation book.  Shad Helmstetter has another outstanding book…. What to say when you talk to yourself.… read them both.  There are many good books out there that when applied  would work wonders.

When I get down…. running helps me out.  I like to log miles!!!  After mile 4, your body goes into automatic mode, and you have the opportunity to think things through.

Find something to live for…. sociopaths don’t have anything to live for. Revenge is not something to live for.

Let’s see….. what to live for…

The chance to get better…. the chance to improve… the family… the kids… the job….the friends…books….pets…shopping…food.. the list is endless!!
51NHamNhGfL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_516J2JQ55GL._SL500_AA300_61aL7CYfUhL._SL500_AA300_

I’ve figured you out!

IMG_2530I’ve figured It out… The reason you can’t let go.

I’ve figured out the reason that you hate me so.

It’s not because of how I look, or what I do or say

now I see…..

it’s because you fell into that trap you tried to set for me.

and you’re angry…. because the rumors your tried to spread about me, was realized in you.  for all to see. I wasn’t the one with a loose morality.

When others saw something good in me, you tried to out shine. You used the only thing you thought was valued….but they passed you around like a dirty dime.

you couldn’t see what others could see…..you were used….

and you blamed me???

There’s something inside of you that needs to be healed. You’re dead inside and in order to feel…… you have to lash out to the one you couldn’t impress. The one who looks beyond the hair cut and fake smile.  The one who sees that hurt child residing inside.

You can’t impress me… with your sick, twisted mind. what you have is sooooo tainted and rotten inside….

Why would I EVER want to live your life?

You think to keep my attention, means that you are foremost in my mind? That when I think of you I feel bad inside? You send me messages when you think that I’m having a hard time? When I’m down on myself, and feel that I’m loosing my mind? You think that links you, if I feel bad inside?

No… when and if I think of you ….It’s closer to pity that I may feel

….and I pray that God would turn your mind right.

You have nothing I want…. Nothing I desire to get.  Thoughts of you DO NOT bring me regret.

I’ve figured you out, and why you can’t let me go…..

Unlike you…I’m not a ho….

Unlike you….I don’t give a Sh-t!

I don’t care if you think about me… I don’t care what you do..

I could care less…If today was my last day to see you.

I wouldn’t try to contact you… I wouldn’t send you messages…. I wouldn’t recruit others to seek out my revenge…. I wouldn’t waste the energy to find out what you’re up to… I wouldn’t create new profiles to stalk you…. I definitely wouldn’t try to pattern my life after  YOU.

Don’t you GET IT????  It’s easy to spot your MINIONS…. they look JUST LIKE YOU…..

WHO are you if you’re trying to be like SOMEONE ELSE?

Do you even know who you are?

THIS post IS for you…. read it at your leisure….. then do what you do….. pretend you didn’t see it. Pretend you don’t know that I’m talking  about you … Pretend I’ve lost my mind. Pretend that you are perfect and clean inside. Pretend you don’t know what EVERYONE else has already know…. You’re F–king Psycho!!!

Seriously… Get a LIFE…. try your own for a change…….

This is what I’ve figured out…… YOU don’t even like you!!