Merry Christmas!! 2014

Well Christmas 2014 is here. Life is moving along. This Christmas, we rang a bell for all those that we have lost and all those that live that we love.
The house was ringing!!! Anna and I went to the Candlelight Service at the church last night and it was wonderful. I said a prayer for my lost love and realized how much I still miss him. I still can’t believe that it has been 9 months that I have not spoken to him and still believe that no matter what he was going through, he always had a home to come back to.
But this Christmas is a happy time. I remembered my love in a positive way. I was able to celebrate his life and mourn his death in a healthy way. I do miss him much.
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Anna misses him to, but we are definitely not crying. We are celebrating. Life is worth living and loving. But death is not the end of love.
The meaning of Christmas is the birth of Christ who have given us the assurance that through His death, we will live! We will laugh. We will love. And we will again.

Blessings this Christmas Season!!!!

Skyy and her loves.

Reflections

2014 is coming to an end. This has been a trying year. The loss of little man, the loss of my sanity, the regaining of hope and now, the look forward into next year. This year’s stats; 4 months happy; 1 month devastated, 2 months psych hospital; 3 months— can’t remember (but includes 2 surgeries), now the last two months, I am bringing myself back–Thanks be to God Most High.

I never thought that I would have to live without one of my kids. It really makes you question all the beliefs held prior to his death. I mean how can a bond between a mother and child end so suddenly? I now don’t take death too seriously. and I don’t take life to seriously as well. The things that I had held dear, holds little meaning to me now. The light of the world seems dimmer.

All of the haters and the stress of the job means nothing. Nothing at all. To go back to the time when that was all I was crying about would be a miracle. But time moves on. it stops for no one.

I’ve had blessings this year as well. I still claim that I am blessed. I have a good heart. I know many dark hearts that try to distract others from enjoying their lives. I know others who lives for revenge. My darkest day is not nearly as dark as their worlds. I know this. I’ve always known it. Brandon died, and there is more to the story than others are willing to tell. That’s OK the battle is the Lord’s. It will come out in time. I just have to live the best life that I can live. I have to continue to be the best person that I can be=== despite those in my way.

Life is good. It would be better with little man here, but it is good none the less.

Drafting Practice

Sleeveless vest top with expanded sides.

Back to drafting sewing patterns.  This is a Skyy Original sleeveless vest top with expanded sides.  I drafted it on my 1/4 sized dress dummy.  Not sure if I am going to sew it in my size  but I know that I would pear this with some bell bottoms.  You know that I’m stuck in the 70’s  🙂 .

Life is slowly getting back into order.  It’s like I’ve been in a daze for the last 5 months.  I am getting back to the things that brings me peace.  DH has been wonderful!!  He picked up the pieces when everything broke and he held it together until I could breathe again.

Completed drafting practice to follow.

Live life Stress-free,

Fly SkyyHigh

Living Life

Well… spending sometime in the Psych hospital has taught me much.  First, life is worth living. It is very much worth living.  I can honor my son’s life by living the best life that I can and by taking care of my two remaining kids.

DBT Skills shows me how to create boundaries with others without stressing myself out.

Mindfulness skills keeps me present in the moment and teaches me that I can go to my safe scene when I start feeling triggered and ground myself without losing it.

Relapse Prevention teaches me to identify the triggering events that leads to the automatic negative talk that leads to the emotion that leads to the behavior and to stop the chain with adaptive coping responses to keep from falling in the unwanted behavior.

I’m learning to live a balanced life rather than bouncing back and forth like the waves of the oceans.

These days, I’m loving life…..