I haven’t been blogging a lot lately. I haven’t been doing much lately. Sure signs that I have yet to figure out how to move pass my sadness. I can honestly say that I’ve slept the month of May away. But, I’m beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel that I’ve been in. Maybe it’s because the Army is moving quickly to retire me, maybe it’s because I see the look in my baby girl’s eyes—you’re not spending enough time with me. Whatever it is, it is getting me up again.
Somehow my sadness has turned into a mental illness– major depressive disorder.
Major Depressive Disorder. It explains a lot. It explains why I really don’t want to go anywhere or do anything. It explains why I can’t let go of my sadness.
There is sadness in this world, I have to find a better way to handle my sadness without creating sadness in others- my husband and daughter. I feel a shift happening. I’ve been up for the last two days and May is almost over.
I miss my little man like no other.