Having the love of books is what is getting out of my depressive state. Something that started in childhood has become an anchor that is slowly bringing me back to life.
I’m not saying that the love of my family and friends shadows in my obsessions for my books, I would not have pulled through if it wasn’t for my husband and children. I’m saying that I could open a book and lose myself in someone else’s reality. If only for a little while. During that time, I could reevaluate my own reality.
The truth is, I miss him more than words can say. But I feel that it is time to start moving forward. It’s time to reach for the things that brought me pleasure in the past. It doesn’t mean that I love him any less, it means that I love him enough to stop dying in my grief.
I guess that it helped that I’ve started attending a group called “grief share.” I say that there are others out there that shares my pain, and for one night a week, we meet and help each other through this hard time.
But back to the books in my library….. at last count, i have over 4,000 volumes. That may seem overwhelming to some, but to me, it brings comfort. I love to share my love of books with the people in my life that loves books as well.
This is the view of my library. The love of books has always been with me and it gives me comfort. I hope that when baby girl gets older, she will start to reach for some books in the library and that we will have the opportunity to unite in a common love.