My life— a Poem, written by me

My life,

I sit across from you and wonder..

what are your thoughts..

if I told you what was on my mind

would you be lost

lost in a fantasy, destined to never be

lost in a reality that may not include me

or would you take a chance…..

and breathe

and finally let it go…

reach out…for once…into an unknown

and discover a place where water flows,

where music fills the soul

where hanging on…brings more sensation….

Than letting go…

Where breathing in….. then breathing out..

Brings a place that turns your world inside out.

Where inside out feels right.

those  waves lasts all night.

And the music turns into light.

You’ve been there…..right?

 

i hear the things you refuse to say

you hide behind your silence

but that does not hide it…

don’t hide the beautiful words

..you might as well try it….

Say what you have to say..

The words destined to fade away

But the feelings remains

Regrets

Regrets…..such a sad word. To look back, and feel pain for some action, some thought, some missed opportunity. regret.

How sad it is to live life in a state of regret. How could you possibly achieve a state of happiness if you constantly have a gray cloud above your head— named regret? There are so many things that I regret in life. And letting go of those regrets will be the only way out of true darkness.

Regret #1 —- Long ago, I hurt a friend. In the most hurtful way — to love what was not mine to love.  I don’t regret the love (is there regret in love?)—I regret the carelessness of not thinking about the outcome.

Regret #2—- Long ago, I could have walked away; I could have let it go; I could have said no more.  I didn’t– and years later, I based my self worth on the opinions of those who bear no thought, no love, no understanding of who I really am.  By not letting go, and holding on to others views of their projections of me, I took on those projections and became who they believed me to be. I believed them. They were, and are still, wrong.  I define who I am.

Regret #3— more recently, I lost what was most precious. I was careless with my words, with my time, with my life. I lived as if I would live forever. but was I really living? was I really loving? This lost destroyed me. i realize that nothing, nothing is more important that living authentically. Being true to you and respecting time. Using the time not for myself, but to express the love i have towards others.

I have been blessed. But with blessings come accountably. There are no do-overs. How could I be so careless? I was careless with his heart.