Regrets

Regrets…..such a sad word. To look back, and feel pain for some action, some thought, some missed opportunity. regret.

How sad it is to live life in a state of regret. How could you possibly achieve a state of happiness if you constantly have a gray cloud above your head— named regret? There are so many things that I regret in life. And letting go of those regrets will be the only way out of true darkness.

Regret #1 —- Long ago, I hurt a friend. In the most hurtful way — to love what was not mine to love.  I don’t regret the love (is there regret in love?)—I regret the carelessness of not thinking about the outcome.

Regret #2—- Long ago, I could have walked away; I could have let it go; I could have said no more.  I didn’t– and years later, I based my self worth on the opinions of those who bear no thought, no love, no understanding of who I really am.  By not letting go, and holding on to others views of their projections of me, I took on those projections and became who they believed me to be. I believed them. They were, and are still, wrong.  I define who I am.

Regret #3— more recently, I lost what was most precious. I was careless with my words, with my time, with my life. I lived as if I would live forever. but was I really living? was I really loving? This lost destroyed me. i realize that nothing, nothing is more important that living authentically. Being true to you and respecting time. Using the time not for myself, but to express the love i have towards others.

I have been blessed. But with blessings come accountably. There are no do-overs. How could I be so careless? I was careless with his heart.